team peawok

There comes a time in everyone's life when they realize what reliability means to them. For myself, I only recently learnt what that is.

I've never been big on birthdays. Perhaps for more practical reasons, it had to do with the fact that i was born in the summer and none of my friends were ever in town, or I was constantly traveling or was it because all those things we ought to desire as a child on your birthday always just fell into place every other day than the actual birth-date. When it came around to planning this year, i wanted to celebrate for once but so many questions came to mind. Finally this year, i was going to have more than 3 people. The one question that was most prevalent was "WHO can I rely on come?" The restaurant had a 20 person minimum but who at the end of the day has 20 real genuine friends? I can think of 5 I can rely on anything for, 10 is pushing it, and I'm fortunate enough to be able to list enough to fit on as many fingers that I have (let me clarify that that doesn't mean I have 10 fingers). Long story short, I first made a list of 15 people, and finally shortened it to an effective set of 8, and it couldn't have been more perfect.

These past couple of months have been a constant flux of mental consultations, and self reflections. And the past week, I witnessed first hand how memories cannot be tarnished by time and impractical thoughts. I was at a family gathering (rare also) and though it happens only every couple of years, some only get together every decade, it brought me great pleasure and it was a privilege to see that their positive memories were all they could see in one another. It was instinctual, inherit, and most importantly, loyal.

This week was brought to a close by a very productive meeting with my team. I call it the team, Team Peawok, because i know it is a very close and trusted network of individuals who can always be there for each other; I have come to an understanding that I have at least 3 available sets around the world and I am so lucky for that. I only say it like this because those that know me personally, know i understand everything better when i can organize the situation into a particular category. It in dividing these things into a clear taxonomy then can i see the value of each person and in the right context and setting they are placed in. I wish everyone to try and see who their "team" is. In my personal team members heads, they may refer to it as Team Kongo, or Team Brains, or Team CBC, and I don't possess them in any nature other than the fact that our existence is solely to support each others development. This summer, when i had the ability to reflect over my thoughts, i came across old friends again, who are all seemingly going through a similar transition in their mental existence. It may have to do with the age that we are in, I cannot be too sure, but finding that right team was the correct decision for this path. A friend of mine, whom, i'll introduce as D, came back into my life recently, and we've been spending a lot of time together. He shared his insight on what we are missing, and I greatly value his secrets.

D's secret was this:
"With all our advances in communications, informations, and technology, the one thing we lack is social interaction. But so what if i text or make a habit of never leaving my house weeks upon ends? I am aware of that, but the secret is to ENGAGE yourself with others. Maybe its a positive achievement that we are on guard when it comes to letting each other in because we can see it as a valuable lesson. When we need to lean on someone the feeling is genuine. Peawok, just ENGAGE yourself and you'll see."

We push and shove one another at our worst moments. I said the other day to someone, "oh i love to press buttons" when talking about my blackberry. He replied, "I can interpret that in so many ways." God forbid, he wasn't thinking about the same buttons i was talking about, but I found the observation to be quite interesting and has been possessing my thoughts. So the bottom line is this, we need to preserve the genuine hearts in our lives. All this personal drama and trouble we cause for one another, admittedly, I do it myself, is not worth losing a smile from your other team members.

Engage yourself.

familiarity

there was a festival outside my window this weekend, and the children that lived across the street were dancing on their beds. this reminds me of the bliss we can all experience through each others company and not taking our existence for granted. it doesn't matter where we are in the world, when we are balanced we will find each other. i genuinely believe in the fact that every person that comes into your life is there for a reason. while getting up this morning, i put on a sweater that hadn't been worn in ages. that whiff of scents that was residing in the fabric brought with it a resurrengnce of memories that i thought i had disappeared.

Dawn + Soup

a couple days ago, i attended a luncheon with some remarkable people.
one of them was an incredible poet who later gave me her book.

here are some lines from her book

清辰永远牵不到黄昏的手
彼此间却有着永恒的期待

dawn never holds the hand of dusk -
there is an eternal expectation between them.


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i haven't been able to discuss what i've been eating because nothing has really stuck out at me. i mean granted i'm in the land of sweet and sour pork, and peking duck, but i haven't been AMAZED yet.

Okay thats a lie, i have been amazed. I attended a late lunch at this place called Green T House, an oasis in the middle of farm and construction zone. And what they did have a Tom Yung Kung soup. Normally i prefer the seedy place down the street where you literally see the bugs crawling out of the kitchen, and i am 80% sure they just let them crawl straight back into the darker coloured dishes and serve them. but this Green T place would never do that. Not only were the ceramics of every person's bowl different (i later had the priviledge, and strictly by coincidence, went to her studio to see how she works), the soup had enough lime flavour to it to not have the shrimp and clammy seafoodness overpower it. The hint of coconut as well was just a hint.

Post pics soon!

Lions

(Originally written September 23, 2009)

I spent about an hour in the feeding cage of the big cat department at the zoo yesterday. There were so many things to observe other than the obvious: their living situation, how it was florescent lit, the lack of circulating air. It was a prison more or less. Everything was grey, green and it smelled of meat and shit and hay.

Though being in the presence of these incredible creatures, was something very special, I was standing in the centre of the room surrounded by the largest species of cats in existence, watching them eat. Lion, Siberian tigers, white tigers, jaguars, some lynx all together in one room. At least 20 different ones surrounded me gnawing at meat roaring at each other. There’s something inherently sexy and attractive about these massive animals. And despite their living situations, and although their dignity has been stripped away from them, they exuded a type of confidence and an instinctual quality that so many of go one in life searching for. They could be in any situation in a prison and still just BE.

Of course I couldn’t tell what they are roaring each other. I could make the assumption that it was about hunger, but I’d like to think it was something complicated. I felt this sense of camaraderie and respect they had for each other. And if for a moment I thought what chaos it would bring if I let them all out. That little shock may be what we need. We are constantly under the gaze of what others think or see, or basically how everything is HYPER observed. But is that good for us? Look at how miserable the lions are. We know too many words, descriptive terms, we can classify everything, separate them into categories, and put everything in its apparent correct place but it is what we need in life? I really hope not. After all who wants to be a huge lion stuck in a cage at the end of the day.

The Two Cs

There's something about the two Cs that always put a smile on my face. CLAMS + COCONUTS

i go to this small place in China town that i have personal history with. I believe it was my father who started working there as a busboy when he first came to America. The food that day was so-so, so i will not put it on the list but here are some things that have entered my belly in recent days.

BROILED SWORDFISH ATOP OF BED OF HARICOT VERT
BEET AND CUCUMBER SALAD
QUICHE LOREN
YOYOS - A CORNBREAD MUFFIN STUFFED WITH CHEESE AND YOU INDIVIDUALLY DIP THEM INTO SYRUP

over the weekend, i attended a relatively quiet dinner party. everything seemed to have the same theme: GRILLED at times i think to myself: what did i ever do to get to eat these things? No fried food this weekend thats for sure, and maybe thats why i had nightmares because of the lack of fried chicken

at the Grilled Dinner on Rooftop i'll refer to it from now as GDR, we had one of the two Cs: Clams. The clams were simply put on the grill until they opened up. I think my favourite clams are still cherry stone. They are huge, but full of the ocean flavours that bring such a huge smile of satisfaction to my face every time. After the clams, we ate some of the grilled vegetables that included carrots, corn, squash, asparagus, portobellos.

Okay, the meal was beautiful to look at and you could taste all the flavours perfectly. of course my favourite was the Clams. You can't go bad with clams really because its either they are just ROTTEN or they just WORK, and a large clam makes a peawok very happy. Quail has its natural flavours that drip from their little bodies and the meat was tender. My only critique was this: There was no butter used! I know there are alternate products: olive oil, pam, etc but i really believe the secret to life is Butter. Well Butters and the two Cs.










I also wanted to include another image from a meal that I made in the spring time. it was not GDR but inside the kitchen instead!

everyone look UP

Walking home this evening was supposed to be uneventful until i looked up into the sky and saw these two lights beaming into the clouds with at least 300 or more fireflies going through the lights. Something that always touches me is seeing an incredible feat; experiencing human resilience is such a privilege.

i spent the day with an artist that i had worked with in the past. its so interesting to me how we all eventually cross paths with each other, that is, if it was meant to happen. he even said to me "i didn't expect this to turn out the way it was going to be."

An old friend of mine and I were laying in her empty apartment the other afternoon. She said to me "peawok, wouldnt it be lovely, if we could just watch the ceiling all day and not have to worry in life?" I know its tempting, but i had to disagree. its such an extreme emotion and expectation to only want that. the lack of balance makes these wonderful fantasies feel so great. My point is this though: Do we need these extremes in our lives? Saying you're bored is still an extremity in itself as well right?

On another note, Brains called me "Baby Venus" the other day because my i apparently don't break hearts, but always have my heart broken. So am I then a "Baby Persephone" instead?

evian is naive backwards!

my brother taught me that years ago, i guess every one knows that by now. so i'm such a great mood lately. there must be something in the air. I had a weekend of ONLY fried chicken! On sunday, i attended a dinner party that requested for food that you grew up with. My friend brought pineapples, because he was from Hawaii, and i brought.. Donuts..two dozen assorted dunkin donuts.i mean for myself, anything would be easy so long as it had to do with mass american chain food restaurants. i do not need Ladurée, the Atelier, or Bouley to bring me pleasure. though those are my favourite places..

there were a bunch of dogs sniffing each others butts at the park this weekend, and i began to think. How would our relationships be if we just treated each other like a bunch of dogs? "You sniff, i sniff, No Thank You or Lets be friends" how simple would life be? No complex situations, no awkward conversation, no denouement or climax necessary, no feeling bad or guilty... Just wag your tail, show some teeth. the end. the point is this: we make our relationships so much more complex than they really deserve to be. our taught, beautiful skin, long necks, and glossy hair does not deserve this type of stress on it.